weight: i dread to think ¬_¬

thank you everyone who shared their ideas about rewards when reaching weight goals :)




eek, has it really been a week?!? well i'm not that surprised, i have been insanely busy. it's great, i finally feel like i'm doing more with my life - actually living it rather than simply existing. i mean i could do more, there is a lot i want to do more with my time etc., but it's a good start :)



i saw 'sunshine cleaning' last week with the boyfriend. great movie, really funny! i recommend it if you haven't seen it. friday night we had drinks with his work mates who are all awesome. i love hanging out with just guys, it's hilarious and fascinating what they talk about lol. after that we went to my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, which was ok at first, but his family and circle of family friends is so huge, there were so many new people to meet and they are all mauritian (not that that is a problem or anything), but the culture is so different and they all have so much in common and had loads to talk about, i got so overwhelmed, i felt out of place for the first time.

  

i don't know them that well, so obviously it will take time to really fit in, but they all were really enjoying themselves, laughing at inside jokes, and i did try to talk a lot to people etc. but it just got too much, especially with half of them going 'omg alvin (my boyfriend) has a girlfriend!' and 'so you're natalie' etc. and it just got too much. i'm quite shy as it is. i did try to enjoy the night, but i just worked myself up unfortunately and we left after a few hours, because we had to get up early the next day anyway.



i felt silly when we got home, i mean really there is no reason to get so worked up, it was just a party, but i think my ed has given me some social anxiety and before i met my boyfriend, i was quite reclusive and anti-social. just need to get used to it i guess!



on the saturday, we went to a little town called 'arundel' - gorgeous old town with a castle :D and quaint little shops. it rained all day, which made looking round the castle quite unpleasant (got so wet!) but when we went into a little tea place for scones and coffee/tea, it was so cosy inside :) we also went to a sweet shop (ahhhhh!!!) and we both bought fudge. i had done quite well that day up until that point eating wise. but wave anything in front of my face that's sweet and i can't help but devour it :S



anyways, sunday we just chilled, went for a meal with alvin's best friend and his girlfriend who are lovely. had pizza :S and garlic dough balls, grrrrrr. i haven't exercised since last thursday 'cause i haven't had time. and i mean literally no time, i've had no time to sit down and relax (withouit the boyfriend) for about a week. i am doing the minimum of exercising 3 times a week, but if i leave too many days in between exercising (like about 3), then i just start gaining again so quickly. going to go for a run later today and do some calisthetics. i'm itching to do some exercise, i can feel the fat growing on me :(



last night i met my boyfriend to look at flats. we saw a couple of really nice ones (we're looking in the outskirts of london), but i think we need to look around more, so we might leave it. it was our first set of flats that we've looked at, but hopefully we'll find some more nice ones!



and then we had kfc for dinner. omg i've been so flipping bad with my eating recently! i'm starting to see results from my calisthetics and frequent running, i cannot fuck up this time, i got our anniversary coming up! i'll be really strict on myself this week and exercise hard.




monday:
4 pineapple rings
medium apple
a nectarine
3 milky coffees
3 kfc crsipy strips
regular fries
regular 7up
fucking fudge ¬_¬




monday:
nada

ughhhh, I just want a flat stomach and space between my legs ¬_¬



celebrity thinsperation of the day:
nicole richie

 

weight: 127.6lbs



so the BBQ was ok, i mean i ate quite a bit, but most of it was veg and protein apart from the hot dog bun :S we went to wimbledon on thursday! it was awesome, we got centre court tickets from the ticket ballot and the atmosphere on court was immense! the women are so fit, but they tend to look chunky and quite muscly. i used to play tennis every week and that's why i think i have quite chunky legs. oh well.



i found out yesterday that my sister bought an exercise bike, even though she owes me for 2 concert tickets. nevermind. i'll have to get the money off my parents, even though they insist i pay for her, because i'm earning money and she isn't. just because i'm earning money, doesn't mean i can afford to subsidise her! i have student debts ot pay off, a car and all that entails with running that and i pay them rent. anyway, i'll see what they say.



work is getting pretty boring. i'm a web designer, but at the moment, all i seem to be doing is dealing with our newsletter rather than any web design work. it's been making me really think about what i want to do and what i enjoy, which is good really, i don't want to get too comfortable at work and stay there for like 10 years :S i need to keep challenging myself. i've been there a year and a half now, so i might stay for another year and then move on.



my boyfriend and i have talked about our future and we both like the idea of opening a bakery together :) i would do all the baking and he would design all the packaging, logos, shop front etc.! he really is so cute sometimes :) even if it never happens, it's fun to dream about!



friday i just spent relaxing after work... i think... my memory is like a sieve, i swear. yesterday i went shopping with my mum and got black and white randomly patterned leggings and a grey and black leopard print hoodie both from H&M, some footless tights that have loads of holes in them, the Yo! Sushi cook book and some high top red converse that were in the sale. only pair left in my size! always wanted a pair of red ones, so i was so pleased to see them sitting there amongst the sale :) just spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and playing sims 2 obsessively. gonna watch the wimbledon men's final on TV today and then just more relaxing. i have the whole weekend to myself for a change, so i'm making the most of it!



food wise i haven't been so great. here's the damage:


saturday:
1 glass of orange juice
small handful of nut/seed/dried fruit mix
mozzarella and tomato salad
smoothie
beef and veg stir fry
loads of mini brownies :S




saturday:
walking while shopping for 3 hours



i hate weekends, i can never control my eating. my mum buys so many sweet, bad things like brownies, doughnuts etc, even though we ask her not to. it's sooooo tempting!!! this is one of the reasons i am really really looking forward to moving out. i'll buy all healthy stuff so that there is absolutely no temptation. plus she won't watch how much i'm eating like a hawk.



my current thinspiration is jessica stroup - i love her so much, she is just perfect. absolutely perfect.

celebrity thinsperation of the day:
jessica stroup